Thursday, January 8, 2009

Hug your children...tightly.

(I was holding this post because I wasn't sure I wanted to share it, but I read Jen's blog today and decided it was time.)

In 2004, my son's best friend was killed in a car accident on the way to school.  He had just gotten his license and car.  Jim was a genius...very smart...could have been anything he wanted.  He was in the band with my son...everybody knew him.  Everyone liked him.

2 years later, one of my daughter's best friends was killed in a car wreck also.  This was a stupid accident...the kids were riding down "thrill hill" and lost control.  Patrick was also in the band with my children...a tuba player.  A great kid!  Very outgoing.  He stayed over at my house a lot.  He had just survived cancer and a year of chemo.

If you've never held your child's hand in a hospital waiting room as the decision to stop life support was being thankful.  My heart broke.

If you've never been in a room with 200 grieving kids... be thankful.  I held children, tried to comfort them and tried to answer their questions of "why".  My heart broke.

If you never been asked by a parent to call six children to be pall bearers for their thankful.  Each boy I called said..."Ms. Debbie, I'd be honored."  I heard this each time I made the call.  My heart broke.

My children have given me gray hairs, have made me cry, made my heart bleed for them, and have put me on my knees to pray for them.

I forget sometimes just how lucky I am to have them with me.  I am thankful.

So, today...hug your children and tell them how much you love them.

                                           Jamie's Pics 010

                                                  Sorry, kids....old picture!










  1. Like I told Jen, our community has been through so much , we have lost I believe 6 kids in six years. They ranged from 8 to 18. Four of them wer friends with my children. It is just such a scary thing.

  2. Our children are so precious and add so much meaning to our lives. Having my daughter made anything I've gone through in my life worthwhile.
    Hugs to you and Jen for reminding us how blessed we are.

  3. Gosh, I know all that was hard on not only your family, but on the community.

    There is nothing like that FEAR, that desperation from seeing other parents loose their children. My prayers for my children become frantic when I see parents suffer such loss. I just don't EVER want to know how that feels first hand.

    I pray that God uses this post in someone's life. Whether they hug their kids tighter, remind them one more time to SLOW DOWN while driving, or if it makes them able to deal more gently with them while parenting.

    I pray a hedge of protection around ALL of our kiddos.

  4. Debbie, this is a very sobering post but you are right - we need to count our blessings and be thankful every day. Thanks for the post.

  5. Because I am a pediatric nurse I am surrounded by grieving parents every day. I do pray every day for the safety and good health of my kids and thank God for them even when they give me major headaches. Those headaches are just little bumps in the road of life compared to the illness and loss of a child.
    Do you remember actress Susan St. James? I saw her on Oprah awhile back. Her youngest of 4 kids, Teddy, was killed in a plane crash when he was 14 years old.(about three years ago) She said something I will never forget and always helps ease my grief when someone dies.
    " We are not human beings that live here on earth and then move on to a spiritual world. We are spiritual beings who have MANY experiences and only one of them is our time on earth."

  6. Your post made me teary eyed. So many things happen along this journey we call life... and we "parents" are always ready to go first... not expecting our children to leave life before us. You made me grateful for my children! blessings, Kathleen

  7. This is a beautiful post that everyone in blog land should read and just be reminded to stop, take a breath and put everything else aside and know how blessed we are by our children. I have only one son, but he is my everything and I miss him so much everyday. We live 5 hours apart now. I miss just the small mudane everyday things of life with him. I admire how close you are with your collage age childen also, alot of folks don't have that at that age. You are truly blessed.

  8. What an eye opening post! I am off to hug my boys...

  9. Our community has suffered some of the same things over the past year-just a string of horrible sad deaths. You are so right-being able to hug our kids should be enough to make life worth wile.

  10. Hey, I read this the other day but at the time couldn't comment. My cousin lost her daughter a few short years ago to a horrific car accident. She had just graduated and just turned 18. There were 4 of them in the car and on a very curvy road and lost control. Three of them past away that day. It was one of the hardest things to go through.

    Six years ago my 16, she will be 17 on Wednesday, and 14 year old's father was in a fatal crash. He lost control and hit a brick wall. We were divorced but it was still hard and even harder watching what my children had to go through. And it's still hard on us because they don't have their dad and long for him. They have a wonderful stepfather that does everything under the sun for them but it's not exactly the same for them. They have had to grow up without him and there are times they wish he was here to be apart of the things they are doing.

    Take Care :)

  11. Thanks so much for the reminder. My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a child or been touched by that loss. Just yesterday I was talking with a friend about a teen who committed suicide in the summer. There is so much pain. I wish we could protect them with a bubble of love. I guess we try as much as we can.